


Fear and Kindness

by SaltySapphic



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Despair Era (Dangan Ronpa), Fear, Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, M/M, Nonbinary Kamukura Izuru, Panic Attacks, could be read as non-shippy, discovering fears, they're not very good at them though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:16:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29505378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltySapphic/pseuds/SaltySapphic
Summary: Izuru experiences two new things
Relationships: Kamukura Izuru & Naegi Makoto, Kamukura Izuru/Naegi Makoto
Kudos: 18





	Fear and Kindness

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine Izuru wouldn't take discovering a weakness of theirs very well
> 
> ALSO Makoto doesn't know that Izuru isn't Hajime, just to clear any confusion

Izuru isn't scared of many things, fear being one of the more foreign emotions to them, however, they've discovered that restraints resurface memories they'd forced themself to forget.

Being tied down to a hard table in a bright room while scientists experiment on them.

They feel… nauseous. Thoughts are swirling in their head and their body trembles almost unnoticeably.

They notice, of course. They always notice.

They stare at the ground ahead of them as they trail behind Makoto Naegi, the person who had put them in handcuffs and made them aware of a weakness of theirs.

They feel incredibly helpless like this, completely at the mercy of the Future Foundation agent leading them to an unknown destination.

Future Foundation wants them dead.

They shudder at the thought and their steps nearly falter.

Are they scared of dying? 

They stop in their tracks, ignoring Makoto's questioning to simply stare down at their feet with their brows furrowed.

They've never thought about death before, really. Not their death, at least, always seeing themself as indestructible, as they were created to be. But now, with their hands quite literally tied behind their back, Izuru could be overpowered.

Sure, they don't need their hands to fight, but they're frazzled and upset by the memories being handcuffed brings up, weakening their resolve.

They could die here.

Surprising to themself, they find the thought scares them.

Izuru is scared of dying.

They're not supposed to be scared of _anything_ . They're not even supposed to _feel_.

They're… wrong. Messed up. Flawed.

They fall to their knees and barely register Makoto's concerned shout.

Until his hand is on their shoulder.

In a panic, they jump back and dig their heels into the dirt to push themself away, eyes wide and frantic as they look up at Makoto.

He looks shocked, hand outstretched and lips parted.

"Hajime?" he calls softly.

"Don't touch me," they hiss, hoping that their voice crack was just in their head. 

Makoto's shocked look changes to pity and he starts to move closer.

"Get away from me!" Izuru orders, jaw clenched and tears streaming down their face.

Makoto lifts his hands placatingly. "Hajime," he says softly, "you're having a panic attack."

"I'm _not_ ," Izuru insists. "I can't. I don't have emotions, I-"

But they both know they're lying. Their head falls and tears they can't even wipe away fall into their lap.

"Hey," Makoto interrupts, voice soft and closer than before. "Hey, you need to breathe. Tell me what's wrong. What set you off?"

"The cuffs," Izuru mutters. "The cuffs they-" suddenly, a memory flashes in their mind, and a searing pain burns along the scars on their head. "They're going to cut me open again," they say quietly. "They're going to make me watch." They clench their fists and dig their nails into the palms of their hands, bringing their knees up and hunching over. "It hurts. Make it stop."

They flinch at the brush of skin against their wrists before their cuffs fall to the ground.

Shocked, they look up and over at Makoto crouched next to them as he puts away the set of cuffs and the key that goes with them.

They move their hands to their front and look down at the redness around their wrists, the phantom feeling of restraints still lingering. They feel them around their wrists, ankles, torso, and even head as they were strapped to a table.

"Is that better?" Makoto asks. Izuru nods. "Good. Is there anything else I can do to help you through this?"

"Why do you want to help? I'm your enemy."

They see Makoto shake his head out of the corner of their eye. 

"No," he says, "you're not. Junko was our enemy. Despair is our enemy. You're a victim just as much as the rest of us."

Izuru looks up and over at him with teary eyes and simply says, "You're going to destroy me."

"Huh?" Makoto looks shocked, indignant.

"I'm not your precious _Hajime_ ," they spit out, new tears forming. _God_ , why can't they stop _crying_? "Hajime gave himself up for talent, and Hope's Peak created me. I have none of his memories or feelings. Hajime Hinata is dead and I am what remains."

Makoto looks sad, then thoughtful. "There has to be a way to save you both," he says. 

Izuru jerks back in shock. 

"He has to still be in there somewhere, but I don't want to have to destroy you to get him back. You're your own person, too."

Izuru feels a knot in their throat and an overwhelming urge to wrap their arms around Makoto. They shake their head.

"If you're not Hajime," Makoto says, recatching their attention, "what's your name?"

"Izuru Kamukura," they say quietly.

Makoto smiles and nods, holding a hand out. "Well then, it's nice to meet you, Izuru!" 

Izuru eyes it wearily, looking between his hand and his eyes before hesitantly grabbing it.

Makoto's smile widens and he shakes their hands before standing up and pulling Izuru with him.

"Come on," he says, dropping their hand, "maybe you can help me save you."

He turns and starts walking away, Izuru holding their wrist and staring down at the hand Makoto held, considering the warm, tingling feeling it left behind.

"Izuru, are you coming?" Makoto asks over his shoulder when they don't follow.

Slowly, Izuru looks up at him and nods, following him and holding their hand close to their chest.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/salty_sapphic)


End file.
